About Us

About Almost Innocent

Almost Innocent wasn’t born in a boardroom.

It wasn’t the result of months of market research, investor meetings or a carefully crafted business plan.

It actually started during a conversation with a scammer.

While they were trying very hard to convince me to send them money, I found myself sending them photos of crystal dildos, asking whether certain shapes were suitable for beginners and discussing vibration patterns instead.

As business origin stories go, it’s not exactly conventional.

But it taught me something.

Most people are far more comfortable talking about sex than we’re often led to believe. The awkwardness usually comes from how the conversation is framed.

Pleasure doesn’t have to be embarrassing.

Curiosity doesn’t have to be awkward.

And shopping for something intimate shouldn’t feel like you’re either sneaking around or being shouted at by a website covered in flashing discounts and neon pink banners.

So Almost Innocent was born.

A place for people who are curious, experienced, nervous, confident, shopping alone or shopping together.

A place where pleasure can be talked about openly, honestly and occasionally with a sense of humour.

What You’ll Find Here

Products chosen because they’re genuinely good, not because there are thousands of them.

Body-safe materials.

Discreet packaging.

Trusted brands.

And recommendations I’d happily give to a friend.

What You Won’t Find

Pressure.

Judgement.

Or anyone pretending they have never accidentally spent twenty minutes researching a product they had absolutely no intention of buying.

(We’ve all been there.)

At the end of the day, Almost Innocent is simply about making pleasure feel a little more comfortable, a little less intimidating and a lot more human.

Because some of the best conversations begin almost innocently.